I love my cousin dearly and we spend a lot of time together. She and I grew up together, we’re close in age and we have a ton of stuff in common. We both love to travel and the outdoors, we go hiking, skiing and scuba diving. Here’s the problem: I think she’s stealing money from me. On occasions when we’re traveling, I noticed money missing from my wallet. When out to dinner, after I leave I find some of my money is missing. A few times it was all my cash and on other occasions she left a one-dollar bill. At first I thought I was crazy, so the other night, I counted all my money before we met and after and yep, she got me. I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to stop seeing her and I don’t know how to bring it up on conversation. I don’t have enough nerve. We are gainfully employed and she sure doesn’t need my money.
What’s your advice?
— Crushed Cuzzin
Dear Crushed Cuzzin,
Aww sweetie, like your cuzzin in this moment, I seem to be conflicted, wondering if she’s taking advantage because she needs help or just doesn’t really like you. Hmm, I wonder, could she really be that sad and lonely on the inside? Or is she just overspending and short when it comes to paying her bills? Nonetheless, her actions require consequences, because she is jeopardizing your relationship.
My hot-mess side says, dang, stealing from family is jacked up and she deserves a smack! While my highly favored and blessed side says, this is undoubtedly a devious cry for attention. The fact that you don’t want to address her is a sure softhearted indication that you don’t want to hurt her feelings. With that said, before you next excursion, I’d suggest that you stuff your dollars in your brassiere.
Family is family, and one things for sure, she doesn’t like or respect you like longtime kin. Otherwise she wouldn’t steal from you. Allow some time and grass to grow under your feet in between hook ups for outdoor adventures. This relationship is flighty, there’s no debt or foundation. Sometimes what you want and what it is, are two different things. Forgiveness is fine, but don’t lose sight that she’s gone rogue.
— Alma
Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and the Washington Post. Email questions to: alwaysaskalma@gmail.com. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.