“Lean on Me”
by Bill Withers
Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow
Chorus: Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won’t let show
You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Chorus
You just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can’t carry
I’m right up the road
I’ll share your load
Chorus
The words and tune of this song written and recorded by African American singer-songwriter Bill Withers capture the feelings people have when they want a shoulder to lean on. When are we not strong? Sometimes it is when we are surprised by bad news. Sometimes it is when we lose something we relied on—a car breaks down or a friend dies. Sometimes it is when we lose ourselves to illness, to addiction or to negativity. The rules of gravity are what comes up must come down. And so, we cannot always be up. But when we are down, who helps us back up?
“Social support” is a term that describes the different types of help we can give to and get from others. Scientists break down social support into five different areas:
1. Emotional—Others can give you emotional support when they listen to how you feel and encourage you. I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
2. Informational—Others can give you informational support when they give you advice on what to do or feedback on how you acted in a certain situation to help you be better. If we are wise we know that there’s always tomorrow
3. Tangible—This is what most people think of. Tangible support is the actual material aid someone might give you like money or transportation. It also means someone who would take care of you if you were sick. Please swallow your pride if I have things you need to borrow
4. Positive Social Interaction—This is someone who will spend time with you to relax or just spend quality time together. I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on
5. Affection—This is someone who makes you feel loved and cared for. They may share this in a number of ways like giving hugs or calling you by affectionate names. You just call on me brother, when you need a hand
Social support is often studied in health care research because of the benefits it can have for people who are down on their luck due to illness. The SOVA (Supporting Our Valued Adolescents) research team at the University of Pittsburgh is interested in how social support can be helpful when people are embarrassed to talk about their illness with others. When they are afraid to share that information with others, it can be tough to get the type of help social support can provide.
For teens with depression or anxiety and their parents, stigma often keeps them from telling others how they feel. SOVA team research found that depressed teens will talk about their depression online, where they can be anonymous. But sometimes online spaces are not safe because of bullying or social media making depressed teens feel worse. The SOVA websites are two research study sites where young people and their parents can go online to be part of a safe online community. They can learn more about depression or anxiety. This community is moderated by the SOVA research team to make sure there is no bullying or negativity. Researchers hope to learn whether being part of such a community helps young people and their parents find the help they need for depression and anxiety.
If you would like more information or want to join SOVA, go to sova.pitt.edu for teens and young adults ages 14-26 or wisesova.pitt.edu for parents of teens or young adults with depression or anxiety.
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